Guideline to Surviving the Winchesters
by Balongdag
Summary: The title says it all. Your guideline on living with the Winchesters. Basically a bunch of rules you should follow (but most of the time no one does) when living with the Winchesters.
1. Chapter 1

Guide to surviving the Winchesters

Rule 1

Don't follow Sam around on his jogs blasting Eye of the Tiger for 'encouragement'.

(He didn't appreciate my encouragement, he demonstrated that with bitchface number 12)

Rule 2

Don't number Sam's bitchfaces.

Rule 3

Don't call Sam's bitchfaces 'bitchfaces'.

Rule 4

No more changing Sam's alarm clock to 'Heat of the Moment'.

(All I heard from his room was "not this shit again.")

Rule 5

Quoting 'The Avengers' is banned.

'You mewling quim!'

'Don't call me a whimpering vagina! You're a whimpering penis!'

(Dean and I after I at the rest of his pie.)

'I have an army of demons!'

'We have a hulk.'

(Crowley didn't really know what to say back to that.)

(Dean looked incredibly smug though.)

'I'm not afraid to hit an old man.'

(Dean when he was arguing with Cas.)

'Is everything a joke to you, Dean?'

'Funny things are.'

(That one sure did piss Sam off.)

Rule 6

No more pretending to be a Satanist.

(I really freaked Sam, Cas and Dean out.)

(I would say things like:

'Man, I miss Lucifer.'

'God, psshhh, Lucifer is the real God.'

'Where are the horseman's rings, I'll rise Satan myself.'

'I need to be evil, so when I die I am guaranteed to go to hell.'

'Those two goons who stopped the apocalypse, why I outa…'

(Whenever Cas entered the room I would hiss and say 'it burns, the righteousness, it buuuurns')

Rule 7

The Vagina song is banned.

'Who likes vaginas, I do, I do, who likes vaginas that would be me!'

(Also no more changing Charlie's ringtone to that.)

(Or playing it when she walks into the room.)

(Just don't play it.)

Rule 8

No more signing 'Let it Go' when someone is using the toilet.

(I scared the shit out of Dean when he was in the bathroom and I started singing loudly: 'LET IT GO, LET IT GO, CAN'T HOLD IT BACK ANYMORE'

'Dammit, Ellie, just let me take a leak in peace!'

Rule 9

Hiding in closets then whispering 'welcome to Narnia' when someone opens the door is banned.

(Dean pulled a gun on me)

(Sam dropped his coffee in fright)

(Cas was unfazed but confused about what Narnia was and why it would be in a closet)

Rule 10

No more hiding walkie talkies everywhere and screaming at people when they walk by.

(Dean casually pulled out his gun and shot the walkie talkie before continuing what he was doing)

(Sam dropped his coffee again, then yelled at me through the walkie talkie. He got super annoyed when I just kept screaming.)

Rule 11

No more changing the ice cream to mayo.

(It was Dean who ate it, he had one gigantic spoonful, swallowed it before realizing that it wasn't ice cream)

(Then he threw up.)

(Tough stomach huh?)

Good, bad? Should I continue?

Thank you for reading, please leave a review if you liked, I would appreciate it. :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 **Rule 12**

Cas is no longer allowed to use chopsticks.

 _(He has no idea how to use them.)_

 _(Then he started getting annoyed.)_

 _(He smashed the bowl of sushi he was trying to eat.)_

 _(Then all the chopsticks disappeared.)_

 **Rule 13**

Stop replying to everything with 'only on Tuesdays'.

 _(I think it makes Sam uncomfortable)_

 _'So are you going to help us out?'_

 _'Only on Tuesdays.'_

 _'Want some pie?'_

 _'Only on Tuesdays.'_

 _'Help me up, Teddy.'_

 _'Only on Tuesdays.'_

 _'For god's sake, give me a hand!'_

 _'Only on Tuesdays.'_

 _'Get out of bed!'_

 _'Only on Tuesdays.'_

 **Rule 13**

No more hiding underneath people's bed and grabbing their foot.

 _(I almost got shot by Sam and Dean)_

 _(Dean wouldn't stop firing until I said it was me)_

 _(Sam got up after I climbed out from underneath his bed and tried to stab me)_

 _(I think he would have kept trying to stab me even after I told him it was me)_

 **Rule 14**

Don't trick or prank Dean with anything about the impala.

 _(I stole his keys then parked his car out of sight, then I told him it had been towed)_

 _(He went down to impound and screamed at the people there until he realized the impala was not there)_

 _(Then he got angrier and came back and yelled at me)_

 _(I was used as target practice for a week)_

 **Rule 15**

Stop pissing off bikers.

 _(When I see bikers drive by I like to throw candy at them and laugh when they curse at me)_

 _(Except this time when we stopped at a bar, the whole group of very LARGE bikers I had pissed off where there)_

 _(I ran for a long time)_

 **Rule 16**

Going up to random people asking 'have you seen my moose? Wait, never mind, there he is!' And pointing to Sam is banned.

 **Rule 17**

Pointing to Sam and saying 'take care of him, he's afraid of heights' is banned.

 _(If you do this don't fall asleep and trust nothing, Sam will get his revenge)_

 **Rule 18**

No more going up to people and saying 'I have the body, now what?'

 _(I freaked Sam and Cas out)_

 _(Dean just replied 'burn it')_

 **Rule 19**

Going to the zoo is banned.

 _(Sam, Cas, Dean and I decided to go to the zoo...)_

 _(WORST IDEA EVER)_

 _(Cas let all the animals out of their cages!)_

 _(All of them_! _There were tigers and lions roaming around that were not friendly.)_

 _(I got chased by a gorilla and Dean got chased by a pack of squirrels!)_

 **Rule 20**

Harry Potter is banned.

 _(Cas calls us muggles now)_

 _(I made us all Pottermore accounts!)_

 _(Dean is in Gryffindor, Sam is in Ravenclaw, Cas is in Hufflepuff and I'm in Slytherin)_

 **Rule 21**

Stop pretending to be Thor.

 _'This drink, I like it. ANOTHER!' *SMASH*_

 _(Pretty self-explanatory)_

 **Rule 22**

Don't draw on people's faces with permanent marker.

 _(On Sam's face I wrote 'unamoosed')_

 _(I wrote 'attitude problem' on Dean's face)_

 _(It took him a day to realize)_

 _(Then I woke up with a bunch of badly drawn dicks on my forehead)_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 is finally here! I apologize for the wait and thank you so much to all those who reviewed, followed or Favorited!

Rule 23

No more trying to get Dean or Sam arrested when in public.

"Look, I don't want your candy, old man."

(I said this really loudly to Dean while we were walking down a busy street.)

(Dean was offended because I called him old)

(Then someone called the police and Dean got arrested)

(Oops)

When I was shopping with Sam he grabbed my arm so I yelled:

"STRANGER DANGER, HE'S ATTACKING ME! HELP, CALL THE POLICE."

(Everybody turned around to see this giant of a man with a confused look on his face grabbing onto an incredibly short young woman by the arm)

(Cue police sirens)

Rule 24

Don't eat or hide Dean's pie.

(Just don't, he is not afraid to throw tantrums)

Rule 25

Streaking through the bunker is banned.

(Cas asked if running around naked was a human custom he was unaware of)

(Dean went to go join in but was stopped by Sam. Violently.)

Rule 26

Stop blasting Barney songs throughout the bunker.

'I love you, you love me.'

(Dean looked ready to kill me and himself.)

(Cas just asked me 'why would one show love to a purple, talking dinosaur.)

Rule 27

Don't show Dean Destiel fan art or fanfiction.

(Sam joined in with me.)

(We showed Dean some very descriptive fanfiction.)

(He wasn't amused.)

Rule 27

Don't tell new hunters that to practice their hunting skills they have to steal a car, then point out the Impala.

(Boy, was Dean mad when he found out that someone had broken into and stolen his baby.)

(I kind of felt bad when Dean confronted him.)

(Poor guy looked ready to piss himself.)

Rule 28

Strip poker is banned.

(Dean was the only one upset.)

Rule 29

'Parks and Recreations' is banned.

(Dean asked me to go out and look for criminal records on this guy)

(I went out then came back with a marshmallow gun and no criminal records)

'How did you go?'

'Does this answer your question?"

(I then pulled out my marshmallow shooter and shot him multiple times.)

'Did you get the records?'

(More shooting)

'I'll use photo shop.' (Sam)

'Can you Photoshop your life with better decisions?"

(Bitchface)

'I call noodles 'long ass rice' (Dean)

'When people get to chummy with me I like call them by the wrong name to let them know, I don't really care about them.' (Me talking to Dean)

(Sam walks in)

'Thanks for letting me borrow this book, Ellie."

'You're welcome, Stuart."

'Looks like you got some shirt on your coffee.'

(Confused moose noises)

'Why are you posing next to that bin?'

'Google Earth, always taking pictures."

'I stand behind my decision to avoid salads and other disgusting things.' (Dean to Sam)

Rule 30

When fighting vampires don't throw glitter on them, then yell 'TEAM JACOB" and then cut off their head.

Rule 31

No more quoting 'Pirates of the Caribbean while fighting.

'Nobody move! I've dropped my brain."

(Surprisingly everybody stopped fighting, including the monsters.)

'MY PEANUT.'

'We must fight to run away!'

(I then dropped my knife and ran away)

'I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt and guess what's inside!'

(Dramatically falls down the stairs.)

Thank you again to everybody who reviewed, you all mean do much to me 3

Next chapter will be up soon and remember to review :)


	4. Chapter 4

Rule 32

No more taking things too literally.

(I was annoying Dean one day and he told me to "Cut it out" so I threw a pair of scissors at him.)

(The next day Sam was being a hard ass again, so I threw a lamp at him and yelled "Lighten the fuck up, Sammy!")

Rule 33

No more referring to Cas, Sam or Dean as 'Hommie or bruh'

(I completely ruined a FBI investigation when I introduced Dean and Sam)

"I'm agent Gough and these are 'ma homies Agent Oster and Brown"

"Can I see your badges again?"

"You got something against black people, huh? Racist fuck."

"That doesn't make any sense and you're Caucasian."

"Cas, bruh you're finally back."

"I do not understand, I am not your brother."

Rule 34

Water balloons are banned.

(I started a water balloon fight with Dean in the bunker)

(Sam almost had a fit when he saw the drenched books)

"Looks like your hair dryer will finally have a good use, Sam!"

Rule 35

No more betting with Dean

"I bet you can't eat that whole donut in one go."

"Bet I can."

"Bet you can't shove that carrot down your throat."

(I was surprised when Dean actually did shove a whole carrot down his throat.)

"How the hell did you do that."

"He's had practice." (Looks suggestively between Dean and Cas)

Rule 36

Quoting 'The Hangover" is banned.

"Let's go handsome, come on."

"Not you, Fat Jesus."

(Dean was extremely offended.) "I'm not fat! And Sam's the one with the Jesus hair anyway"

"So where is the house located, Ellie?"

"It's at the corner of get a map and fuck off."

"For god's sake, Ellie, put some god damn pants on!"

"Pants at a time like this!"

(I was binge watching Doctor Who and I ran out of Pizza and Popcorn.)

"Oh, you're having a bad day? Did you die?"

(Sam and Dean's argument for literally everything.)

"So long, Gay Boys!"

(I say this to Dean and Cas whenever I leave and they are in a room alone together.)

"Boy, you got a sweet ride there."

"Don't touch it. Don't even look at it. Go on, get out. You heard me. Don't look at me either."

"Yeah, you better walk away."

"I'll hit an old man in public."

(Dean to some old guy at a gas station)

Rule 37

Same goes for "Due Date"

"Dad, you were like a Father to me."

"Are you high, Ellie?"

"You better check yourself before you wreck yourself." (I said this to Dean after the mark started to affect him.)

"Your personality needs some work, my god."

(Said everybody to Dean at least once.)

"Ellie, you need more REAL, LIVING, NON FICTIONAL friends."

"I have 90 Facebook friends, 12 are still pending but I have 90 Facebook friends."

"So, what was your Father like?"

"Well, he raised us like soldiers, taught us how to hunt, fight and use guns at a young age, he made us travel around the country with him, left us at motels and never cared properly for us, he told me I would have to kill Sam and, oh, he left me a boy's home for a month because I got arrested." (Dean's curt description of John.)

Me: *Laughs hysterically* "My dad would never do that, he loved me!"

(Double Winchester Bitchface)

Rule 38

No more quoting "Doctor Who" either.

"Are you my Mummy?"

"The fuck." (Dean)

"There's something here that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."

"Stop poking me, Ellie."

(Sam snapped my poking stick.)

Rule 39

Don't change Dean's hair gel to super glue.

(It was freaking hilarious when Dean walked out with his hands on his heads though.)


	5. Chapter 5

I have decided to delete chapter 4 'Rule 19' because I wasn't happy with how it turned out, so the chapters have changed slightly, my apologies. Anyway, please enjoy chapter 5.

Rule 40

Stop bringing animals into the bunker.

(The dog that Sam brought in was okay, but Dean only let him stay because of Sam's puppy eyes.)

(But they weren't too happy when I brought a llama and a goat home.)

(The goat ate everything.)

(Including Sam's hair.)

(Cas liked the llama though.)

(I walked into the library to find Cas and the llama just staring at each other.)

(Dean has some competition.)

(Casama all the way)

Rule 41

Superglue is banned.

(I superglued hair extension to Sam and Deans hair.)

(Dean was not happy.)

(Sam didn't really notice until he went to brush his hair and he ripped out the hair extension and his own hair.)

(Now he has a bald spot.)

Rule 42

Don't use the fake credit cards for unreasonable things.

(I went to McDonalds and tried to buy Ronald McDonald)

(I didn't think they would actually sell me it!)

(Now we have a Ronald McDonald statue in the bunker.)

(Sam almost peed himself when he saw it.)

Rule 43

Don't try and play Jet Pack Joy Ride in real life.

(I bought a jet pack.)

(Don't ask where.)

(Then I decided to fly it through the bunker.)

(It didn't work out like I hoped.)

(I had a lot cleaning to do that week.)

Rule 44

Grand Theft Auto is banned.

(Sam was really freaked out when he heard Dean and I talking about it.)

(He didn't know we were talking about the video game.)

"Just get in then kill everybody."

"Even the pregnant woman?"

"Even the pregnant woman."

Rule 45

Don't play with chemicals.

(I 'accidentally' spilled some chemicals on Dean's crotch.)

(Then I told him that they were created especially to shrink things.)

(Never seen someone panic so badly.)

Rule 46

Don't set up Valet parking at shopping centres.

(Dean and Sam were really surprised when I came home with a Bentley.)

Rule 47

Surprise piggy backs are banned.

(I did this to Dean.)

(As soon as I landed on his back I was flipped over his head and thrown onto the floor.)

(Sam is too tall for me to even try.)

Rule 48

Quoting "Shrek"is banned.

"Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Man, this would be so much easier if I wasn't COLOUR-BLIND!"

"Ellie, woman can't even be colour-blind."

"Oh, yeah."

"I like that boulder, that's a nice boulder."

(Sam didn't appreciate my appreciating.)

"So, Dean, what was Gabriel like?"

"Well, let me put it this way, Ellie; angels of his stature are in SHORT supply."

"Hey, where're you going? Oh man, I can't feel my toes!"

"I don't have any toes!"

"I think I need a hug."

"Ellie, I think you're on drugs."

"I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt, too. Those stairs won't know which way they're going... take drastic steps, kick it to the curb. Don't mess wit' me. I'm the Stair Master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here, right now, I'd step all over it..."

(Dean when he fell down the stairs.)

Rule 49

Don't quote "Wizards of Waverly Place."

"I ate Dean."

(Sam looked horrified.)

(Cas believed me when he couldn't find Dean in the bunker.)

"British people are so cute, I wish Americans came from England."

(Blank stares and an hour long history lecture from Sam)

"They teach you that the truth is good, but then when you say the truth, everybody gets offended."

(Me after I insulted Sam's hair and he got offended.)

Rule 50

Don't put condoms on the outside mirrors of the impala.

(Sam and Dean's faces were hilarious when they started driving and the condoms blew up from the wind.)


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 is here. I hope you enjoy:)

Rule 51

Stop acting like Gordan Ramsay

"Here's the lamb you ordered."

"WHERES THE LAMB SAUCE!"

"YOU FUCKING DONKEY."

(Dean to me when I didn't bring him back pie.)

"Let's give a big round of applause to the captain who hit an iceberg on the fucking Titanic."

(Dean after we watched the Titanic together.)

"Fucking piss cream. What is that shit?'

(Me to Cas after he attempted to cook.)

Rule 52

Don't dump trash cans full of water on people from the balcony when they walk through the door.

(Man, were Sam and Dean angry.)

Rule 53

Don't lick the flavors off snacks then put them back into the packet.

(I was horrified to find out that the crackers I was eating were once barbeque flavored.)

Rule 54

Try not to talk to yourself in public.

(See I have this problem were I start to talk to myself in public without realizing I'm doing it.)

(One day in the bunker I walked into the library talking to myself: "Are dogs right handed or left handed?)

(I then debated to myself for 5 minutes out loud until I finally looked up to see Dean staring at me.)

(He then left saying "You are fucking mental.")

Rule 55

Watching Youtubers is banned.

"FRONTFLIP!"

"Ellie, that was a backflip."

"DON'T QUESTION MY LOGIC."

(Every time I see a barrel I scream "BARRELS" and then shoot them repeatedly.)

(The bad guys find us every time.)

"Sam, your hair is gay."

"It's not called being gay, its call being FABULOUS."

(Pretty sure Sam was drunk.)

"2fab4u"

(My excuse for everything)

"I think its okay for people to have opinions…Even though you're fucking wrong!"

(Me to Dean when he said he didn't like Doctor Who.)

"Teddy, give me the last piece of pie or I swear to God I will stab you."

"No good sir, for I have the power of triangles."

"IT'S IN THE MOTHERFUCKING BAGGING AREA."

(Got some stares at the store for that one.)

"Omg god, Becky, I just saw the like, tallest lesbian ever and she was such a pervert."

(Sam wasn't happy when he realized I was talking about him.)

"That's easy and by easy I mean really hard."

(Me bragging about my math skills.)

"I'M KING OF THE SQUIRELLS."

"You're king of the idiots, Ellie."

"I appreciate your concern but kindly fuck off."

(Me to Dean when he tried to comfort me when my favourite character died. Again.)

"Why do you swear so much, Teddy?"

"I fucking cuss because it fucking emphasizes your fucking point."

"Oh."

"Yeah, 'oh' Motherfucker."

"I cannot believe we have already went through another twelve months of absolute fuckery."

(Dean says this every year.)

Rule 56

"Drake and Josh" is banned.

"This is the worst day ever."

"Why, cause someone stole Baby?"

"No, cause it's a little humid. YES, CAUSE SOMEONE STOLE THE IMPALA."

"So what's the reason you can't come to the investigation with us?"

"Here's a note from my mother, she even signed it!"

"Please excuse Teddy from hunting. She has twisted her liver and is unable to walk, write or bathe. Yours truly, The Mother."

"Ellie, this is your signature."

"I thought your mother was dead?"

"PIE."

"Wow, just take it easy man."

"Have a good day, Dean."

"Don't tell me what to do."

*Whispers to Sam* "That time of the month, huh."

"Pip Pip Da Doodly Doo!"

(I said this to one of the police officer when we were investigating a crime scene.)

(We were asked to see our badges again.)

"I'm so angry."

"At who? The people who sold you those clothes."

(Cas was so getting back at me for insulting his precious trench coat.)

"MAYBE 'E' MEANS EXTRA FUEL."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, ELLIE."

(I tried to get Sam and Dean to say "Hug me Brotha" when they hug, but they won't.)

"That didn't happen, Sam!"

"You calling me a liar?"

"I ain't calling you a truther!"

(Sam and Dean arguing about what happened when they first met Gabriel.)

(Now I want to try some purple nurples!)

"I don't understand."

"Shocker."

(Crowley is so sick of your shit, Sam and Dean.)

Rule 57

Thor altogether is banned.

(I walked into a pet shop and yelled: "I need a horse!")

(I got kicked out of said pet shop.)

Rule 58

Don't hand Dean a snicker bar and then say "You're not you when you're hungry."

Rule 59

Try not to road rage.

(Dean and I haven't been handling our road rage very well…)

"NICE BLINKER ASSHOLE

"Shit, is that a cop? No."

"Shit, that is a cop!"

"Where the fuck did you get your driving licence? A toilet bowl!?"

"Did that mother fucker beep at me? Bitch, I will show you what a real horn sounds like!"

"THERE ARE LINES ON THE ROAD FOR A REASON, ASSHOLE."

"This isn't a race, asshat."

"Could you drive any fucking slower?"

Rule 60

Mini golf is banned.

(It's called MINI golf for a reason!)

And you have reached the end of the chapter! Thank you for reading. I would like to give a special thanks to those who have reviewed:

Lemonofweirdness , specialsmiley1315 , Isabella Poulous , frostygossamer , Guest , Jdoekem (Guest)

Thank you guys heaps ily all:)

Please leave a review telling me what you think or leave a suggestion for a rule:) If you want to learn more about Ellie, her character bio is on my profile.


	7. Chapter 7

Rule 61 (By lemonofweirdness)

Quoting Fall Out Boy is banned.

(I got arrested. Again.)

"Anything you say will be held against you."

"SO ONLY SAY MY NAAMMEE."

(Sam and I got kidnapped by some vampires on a hunt and we woke up in a dark room.)

"Where are we?"

"In the *hits the wall twice* DARK DARK."

(Dean and I were talking about people who had left us and broken our hearts.)

"Girl named Cassie."

"HEAVY METAL BROKE MY *clap clap*HEART."

"Dammit, Ellie!"

Rule 62

Pingu is banned.

(I started just saying 'noot' in reply to everything.)

"Ellie, how was your day?"

"Fucking Noot."

"What are you doing today?"

"Noot."

"FOR GODS SAKE ELLIE ENOUGH WITH THE NOOT!"

"NOOT NOOT NOOT NOOT!"

Rule 63

'The Emperor's New Groove' is banned.

"So the squirrel is the only witness?"

"Don't worry, I'll handle this, I speak squirrel."

"Squeaky, uh, squeak, squeaker, squeaking."

"Is your partner, okay? Mentally?"

"No."

"No touchy!"

(Deans so touchy when it comes to personal space.)

(Emperor's New Groove also has some ice breakers for awkward silences.)

"Hey, d'you see that sky today? Talk about blue."

"Ellie, its twelve o'clock in the morning."

"So?"

"Shut the fuck up!"

"I DON'T MAKE DEALS WITH PEASANTS."

(Crowley's sick of everyone's shit.)

"Dean, I need some advice."

"What?"

"There's this guy I hate and he won't leave me alone, what do I do?"

"Put him in a box, then put that box in another box, then mail that box to yourself and smash it with a hammer!"

".."

Rule 64

Stop getting yourself injured by doing stupid things.

(Dean gave himself a concussion when he slid down the hallway in socks singing 'Eye of the Tiger' and then crashed head first into the wall.)

(I was playing with throwing knives once and I went to fling the knife into the floor because I thought it would look cool but instead of embedding itself into the floor the knife pierced my foot.)

(There was a lot of blood.)

(Sometimes when I am walking down stairs (that are indoors) I like to jump off when I get three steps away from the landing but I forget that there is a doorway there so every time I jump I hit my head on the top of the door frame.)

(I told Sam this and he said that sometimes he just hits his head when he walks through a doorway.)

Rule 65

Playgrounds are banned.

(You know those baby seat swings, with the leg holes? Yeah, I decided it would be good idea to try and sit in one.)

(I got in okay, but I couldn't get out.)

(Sam had to call the fire department)

Rule 66

Don't pretend to be a demon.

(I decided it would be funny to trick Sam and Dean into thinking I was possessed.)

(I sprinkled myself in sulfur and started acting differently.)

(I even went as far as saying "I need a better host body." Then eyeing everyone up in the room.

(I then got a face full of holy water so I hissed (slightly over dramatized but eh.)

(Then Sam and Dean tried to exorcise me.)

(So I screamed "I AM TO POWERFUL FOR YOUR LATIN WORDS OF DOOM.")

(I had to give up the facade when Dean went to plan B and pulled out his gun and started shooting.)

Rule 67

Don't tell Cas that period pads are special bandages.

(So the next time Dean got injured, when Sam pulled out a normal bandage to wrap up the wound, Cas said "no, I have something better" then pulled out a period pad and stuck it to Deans arm.)

Rule 68

Licking things and people is banned.

(Especially when it's winter. No one wants to have to pry anymore tongues off frozen poles.)

(I'm looking at you, Dean.)

(I snuck up behind Cas and licked his neck.)

(Then I told him that people did it show others that we are happy to have them healthy and a part of our lives)

(So he was upset when he did it to Dean and was told kindly to not "fucking lick peoples neck, its creepy as shit.")

(Licking food is okay though, unless it's someone else's.)

Rule 69

Fish are banned.

(Cooked, dead fish are okay but live fish that need looking after? NO!)

(Sam decided to get a fish since Dean refused to allow a dog in the bunker. He then asked me to help raise it.)

(Turns out we are both not cut out for that sort of thing.)

(The poor fish was dead in a week.)

"Jimmy was so young..."

Rule 70

Don't shrink Sam's clothes.

(I didn't mean to intentionally, I just meant to do something nice for him but then when I took out his fresh, clean clothes from the washing machine they were four sizes too small.)

(Though it was worth getting used as target practice when Sam walked out of his room in a too tight t shirt that came up just above his stomach and pants that went to his knees.)

(Did I mention they were also pink?)

Thank you so much for reading! I hoped you enjoyed, remember to leave a review telling me what you think or a suggestion! And thank you to those who reviewed:

lemonofweirdness and A Fangirl Life. You guys are amazing :)


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Rule 71 (By specialsmiley1315)

Nerf guns are banned.

(Sam and Dean will team up and destroy you.)

(I've got so many bruises from being pelted with Nerf bullets.)

(The bunker was in chaos.)

(I have never seen so many Nerf bullets.)

Rule 72

The following things should not be said out loud.

"I WISH TO DEVOUR THE UNBORN."

(A pregnant woman had the most horrified look on her face.)

"I have an imaginary friend."

"That's great, Ellie."

"He tells me its okay to kill people."

"Never mind."

"I prefer breasts over legs."

(It was Christmas and I intended to take advantage over that.)

"It's just being a long time since I've inhabited a body."

(I said this to Dean when he was teasing me about my clumsiness.)

(Cue holy water.)

"Chicken drum stick is my favourite dildo."

(That one got me some weird looks."

Rule 73

Stop trying to piss off police officers.

"Here, hold my bear while I get my licence."

(Dean being a lil shit when he decided to drink while driving and got caught by the police.)

"So when are you going to get arrested too?"

"What?"

"Well, officer, you must of being going over 120 to keep up with me."

(When I got pulled over for speeding.)

"You're not going to check the trunk are you?"

(Dean and Sam glared at me for that one.)

Rule 74

Vine is banned.

"Hey Ellie, pass me my keys."

*Throws copying machine*

(Sam was not amused.)

"Dean, you didn't fix the lights!" (Sam)

"When your lights don't work like they used to before." (Me)

"Teddy, shut the fuck up!"

"Dude, I can't believe you sent a dick pick to my Grandmother!"

(Dean was so pissed off when I said this to him when he was flirting with a woman.)

Rule 75

Singing the song "Beelz (My Name is Satan) by Stephen Lynch for karaoke is banned.

"Ever since first man has walked this earth I have being here, to whisper seeds of doubt and evil thoughts into his ear, I am the beast the outcast angels fallen from on high, I go by many names but there is one you can't deny MY NAME IS SATAN."

"Hi everybody!"

"Uh, let me tell you a little bit bout myself."

"My friends all call me Old Scratch and I am a Capricorn, my turns on are romantic walks and killing the unborn."

"I've got little devils horns and a little goatee, little devil eyes to help a little devil see and little cloven hooves that make it kinda hard to ski, I'm Satan."

"Woo Hoo!"

"Or Mephistopheles for some I don't know."

"My real name is Beelzebub, but you can call me beelz."

"I love to watch fox news and then go club some baby seals."

(It's the ending that finally got me kicked out of the CHRISTIAN bar though.)

"Devil went down to Georgia he was looking for soul to steal."

"That's fucking bullshit because I would never been caught dead in Georgia, ok, it's like oh my god! 666."

Rule 76

Deadpool is banned

"Call me Deadpool, it rhymes with no school, too cool, ain't no fool and I'm the best that there is at what I do-oo."

(Said this while fighting a witch.)

(Dean disagreed with the 'best at what I do' part.)

"It's a booby trap!"

"Ha ha, you said 'trap'!"

(Sam was a little happy that I didn't say 'booby.')

"I was a normal baby, for 30 seconds."

(I also then proceeded to point out that Sam was also a normal baby for 6 months.)

"Unalive the monster!"

(That got me weird looks from Sam, Dean and the vampire.)

*Monster screams when it dies.*

"Ooh, a screaming contest, AHHHHHH!"

"Bobby's last word was 'Idjits."

"Really? You buy that? Cause I would think the last thing he said was 'Ahh Dick Ahh."

(Dean hit me on the head for that one.)

"My Chimichanga!"

Rule 78

Don't switch normal jellybeans with the disgusting flavoured ones.

(Of course it was Dean who ate them.)

(He ate dirty socks and dog food flavour at the same time.)

(He almost threw up.)

Rule 79

The 'Charlie Charlie' challenge is banned.

(Especially don't do it in front of Sam and Dean.)

(They lost their shit when the pencils moved.)

(Holy water, devil traps and salt everywhere.)

(Still haven't told them that I just blew the pencil.)

Rule 80

Dacking people is banned

(Dean didn't have any boxers or underwear on.)

(I'm scarred for life.)

Thank you for reading and I apologize for the wait, I have been really busy trying to finish assignments and prepare speeches for school.

Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed! Please leave a review telling me what you think or a suggestion for a rule!

The vines that I used were by:

Alona Forsythe

Gary Rojas

Ry Doon

Thank you for reviewing:

mooselover (guest)

lemonofweirdness

specialsmiley1315

You guys are amazing! Thank you:)

I hope you are all having a lovely evening or day.


	9. Chapter 9

Hey guys. I am so sorry I haven't updated sooner, I just haven't had a lot of motivation. Hope you enjoy chapter 9 :) Also I have decided to add in a lot more characters. Even if they are 'dead.'

Rule 81

No more claiming that there's a ghost named John that humps the hell out of anyone it wants to have sex with.

Me: Hey guys, there's this ghost called John that humps people he wants to have sex with.

Dean: Right.

Me: No really, it's humping your right now.

Me: He humps everyone.

Me: Except for Sam.

Rule 82

Pretending to be Tarzan is banned.

(I climbed a tree and yelled "I AM TARZAN, NATURE CALLS ME AND CLOTHING IS FOR THE WEAK.")

"Gah! ELlie put some clothes on! At least Tarzan covered up his junk!" (Dean)

Rule 83

No more keeping dead birds as pets.

(Sam was happy when I told him about my new pet, he said it would be good for me.)

(Until I brought him to lunch with me.)

"Ellie, why is there a dead bird on my chair."

"That's Tweeter, you don't have to worry about him, he doesn't do much."

(Tweeter was unfortunately put to rest a second time in the garbage.)

Rule 84

Glee is banned

"Can we please talk about the giant elephant in the room?" (Dean)

"Your sexuality?"

(I think Cas is getting sick of waiting.)

"You guys released the Darkness? This is a total disaster, I'm going to ask you to smell your armpits." (Me to Sam and Dean)

(They did actually smell their armpits.)

"No way, I am not dressing up as a woman, I never have and I never will."

(Dean when I tried to get him to dress up as a woman.)

"What about Halloween?" (Sam)

(Dean and Cas both dressed up as Snooki and the situation.)

(The most hilarious thing I have ever seen in my entire life is Dean in makeup, wearing heals and a dress saying "Trick or Treat, Badda Bing!")

"Wait, so you're telling me you've only had sex with one woman and she turned out to be evil?

"Yes."

"HA!"

"Please don't tell anyone."

"My lips are sealed, just like your legs."

(Cas wasn't amused.)

"You know dolphins are just gay sharks."

(I think Cas believed me when I said that.)

Rule 85

Don't call Lucifer 'Luci'

(I woke up frozen to the ceiling from doing that.)

Rule 86

Five nights at Freddy's is banned.

(Gabriel screams like a girl)

(So does Dean)

Rule 87

"How I met your mother" is banned.

"I'm going to lick the Liberty Bell."

"Gabriel, NO."

"Just be nice and, uh, be yourself!"

"Which one? I can't do both." (Balthazar)

(Recently I had gotten dumped by my girlfriend)

(So Gabriel took me over to her house)

"You will love again, because time will heal a broken heart."

"Aww Gabe-"

"BUT NOT THAT BITCHES WINDOW."

(I should have seen that coming to be honest)

"With great penis comes great responsibility" (Dean)

Rule 87

Tumblr is banned

(Endless scrolling is a constant distraction for me.)

( I also accidently discovered Sam's blog.)

(I didn't know he was a Kanye West fan.)

Rule 89

Rick rolling is banned.

(Balthazar and Gabriel are always rick rolling everyone.)

(Like last week)

"Hey, Cassie, we just got a transmission from all the angels forgiving every wrong thing you have done."

"Really?"

"Yep, here listen,"

(Cas tuned into angel radio really excitedly only to hear "NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN.")

(He gave them the silent treatment for three weeks after that.)

Rule 90

Stop using the word potato for everything.

"Why were you late, Teddy?"

"Potato distracted me."

"That'll be 10 dollars, sir."

"How about 10 potato instead?"

(Gabriel isn't allowed back in Starbucks now.)

"Why don't you guy's trust me?"

"Because potato told us not too."

(We say this to Gabriel, Balthazar, Lucifer, Michael and Raphael every time they notice us being extra cautious around them.)

Rule 91

Don't let Cas watch Harry Potter

(He got obsessed)

(Instead of wearing a trench coat he wears Harry Potter robes and carries a wand around instead of his angel blade)

(I almost pissed myself laughing when Dean asked Cas to pass him some pie and Cas pulled out his fake wand and said "wingardium leviosa." He floated the pie over to Dean and slammed it into his face.)


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10, I hope you enjoy:)

 **Rule 92**

Don't turn all of the books on shelves in the bunker around the wrong way.

(Sam will not be happy.)

 **Rule 93**

Don't turn Nerf guns into flamethrowers.

(MY PANTS CAUGHT ON FIRE)  
(I KNOW IT WAS YOU DEAN)

 **Rule 94**

DO NOT SMITE THE MICROWAVE IF YOU GET FRUSTRATED WITH IT.

(I'm looking at you Lucifer and Michael.)

 **Rule 95**

Golf carts are banned.

(Sam and I went down to a nearby golf course and decided to "borrow" some golf carts so we could race each other.)

(We were having a lot of fun)

(Until the brakes on Sam's cart stopped working and he crashed into a lake.)

(I nearly pissed myself I was laughing so hard.)

(Especially when Sam resurfaced with a handful of golf balls.)

 **Rule 96**

Gabriel is banned from the kitchen.

(He wanted to try make us some lasagna)

(Halfway through cooking he realized that he did not have like half the ingredients he needed.)

(So he just made due with what he had.)

(Which included using tomato sauce to replace tomatoes)

(Spray can cheese to replace the actual cheese.)

( AND HE USED ACTUAL LEAVES FROM A TREE OUTSIDE FOR THE SALAD CAUSE WE HAD NO LETTUCE)

(And don't get me started on the time I let him help me make a cake.)

(I gave him one simple job, make the icing.)

(The icing had two ingredients; icing sugar and freshly squeezed lemon juice.)

(But instead of using icing sugar, he accidentally used flour.)

(There was also this one time with the blender and the lack of lid on the blender but Gabe doesn't like to talk about that.)

 **Rule 97**

Phineas and Ferb is banned.

(They give Gabriel too many ideas.)

(Sam was not happy when he walked out of the bunker and all he could see was a giant roller-coaster.)

(Pretty sure he actually liked the backyard beach though.)

(Dean not so much, especially when he found out that his precious impala was being used to sun bathe on.)

(I got in a lot of trouble when I brought a platypus home that I had dyed turquoise.)

 **Rule 98.**

Transformers from all media types are banned.

(Sam has started carrying around wrenches and throwing them at anyone who annoys him.)

(And we have all started swearing like them too.)

"Teddy, you fragger, where did you put my pie?"

"Up your aft, you piece of slag!"

(I accidentally called the check out lady at the shop a 'squishy organic'.)

(Got me some weird looks.)

(Sideswipe and Sunstreaker are my favorites)

(I wish I had a twin.)

(Cas likes Skyfire and Wheeljack)

(Sam likes Ratchet)

(Dean prefers Jazz.)

 **Rule 99**

No more eating things off the ground.

(It started out with me eating chocolate off the ground.)

(Then Dean eating some fries off the ground.)

(Sam finally lost it when Dean ate pie off the ground.)

 **Rule 100**

Stop grabbing people's ass when they bend over.

(I grabbed Sam's ass from behind)

(Never seen someone blush so much)

(I laughed my ass off when Cas saw me doing it to Sam and then went and did it on Dean.)

"Dude, that's my arse."

(Got a nasty glare from Dean when I yelled out "HONK HONK, REACH DOWN HIS FRONT AND GRAB HIS JUNK.")

 _ **Thank you for reviewing :**_

 _ **MercedesRayne**_

 _ **Emma Winchester 424**_

 ** _You guys are amazing, I really appreciate it:)_**

 ** _Please leave a review telling me what you think or if you have a suggestion for a rule. I'll try upload as soon as I can, thank you again for reviewing, following and adding this fanfic to your favorites, or even just reading it. It means a lot._**


	11. Chapter 11

Rule 101

If you flip something too high when you're cooking and it sticks to the roof it's your own fucking fault.

(Stop throwing things at it to try and get it down!)

(E.g, hammer, fry pan, MY RABBIT, other food, shoes ect)

Rule 102

'Bobs Burgers' is banned.

( Dean started calling everyone a Boob Punch.)

"Don't be such a Boob Punch, Ellie."

"You're about to get a boob punch if you don't shut the fuck up."

"Your ass is grass and I'm gonna mow it."

(That one didn't go over too well with the ladies.)

"Sam, you saved me. I owe you my life."

"No thanks, I've seen it and frankly I'm not impressed."

(Rude)

(I also recorded the fart noise Gene uses onto my phone.)

(I used it whenever Dean is trying to get laid or when Sam is posing as a FBI agent.)

(I managed to cheer up some upset, mourning people when they hear the ridiculous fart noise and think it was Sam.)

(It accidentally went off once and alerted a bunch of those infected by the Darkness people, which alerted them to our presence.)

(Dean then proceeded to throw my phone at the wall.)

Rule 103

Do not throw a party in the bunker.

(Dean and I decided to throw a party in the bunker while Sam was gone for a couple of days.)

(I don't even remember the party, I just remember waking up with a half plucked chicken on top of me.)

(Cas supplied to us that we got hungry, someone suggested chicken and Cas went out and came back with a live chicken and we just went with it.)

(I also discovered two guys in my bed doing the do.)

(I ended up throwing the whole bed out.)

(We also found a Lamborghini in the garage.)

(We still don't know whose sport car we accidently stole.)

Rule 104

Watching any movies or tv shows with characters that are inventers is banned.

(I wanted to be like them and invent some cool stuff.)

(So I decided to invent this machine (with Deans and Cas help) that would recognise what species you were (vampire, werewolf) and douse you or attack you with whatever weaknesses those certain monsters have.)

(But it completely backfired. Surprise, surprise.)

(It kept thinking that Dean was a demon and every time he walked through the door a whole bucket of holy water was dumped on him.)

(He was so done.)

(The machine also thought Sam was an angel. (A mistake on my part for not setting angels as friendly, but then again about 97 percent of angels, give or take a few, are dicks)

(So Sam was almost burnt alive because the machine doused him with holy oil then lit him on fire.)

(He was not a happy moose.)

Rule 105

Don't take my glasses if you want to keep your life.

(I almost killed everyone when Dean decided it would be funny to steal my glasses to see how well I could go about the day without them.)

(I was making pancakes and since I couldn't read the labels I grabbed the bugs spray instead of the non-stick spray, luckily Sam was there and stopped me from almost committing a double murder)

Rule 106

Hide your toothbrushes.

(Otherwise Dean will shove them down his pants or under his arms, or both if you have really ticked him off.)

(To get back at him I put red food dye on his tooth brush.)

(He didn't even notice until he smiled at this lady and she screamed.)

Rule 107

Don't leave off meat in the freezer or fridge.

(Turns out we have two year old frozen steaks in the freezer.)

(Dean found out the hard way.)

Rule 108

Leave my rabbit alone.

(I used to have two rabbits but then Dean thought it would be a good idea to spray paint the white, fluffy rabbit black and red to make him look more "intimidating".)

(Anyway turns out rabbits don't have much tolerance for spray paint.)

"Well I guess you can't spell 'spray painting' without 'pain'."

"Shut the fuck up Dean, you just murdered my rabbit in cold blood."

Rule 108

Enough with the puns.

(Every time I painted my fingernails I would show everyone and say "nailed it")

(They would tell me to shut up and I would say "Please don't Punish me.)

(Sam looked ready to slap me.)

(Dean just laughed and said "your jokes are so punny.")

"Thanks I know I have the best punchlines."

"I feel like punching you all right now." (Ouch, Sam.)

Rule 109

Horse mask are banned.

(Scared the shit out of me when I walked into the kitchen at 12:30 AM and there was just someone with a horse head chilling on the counter.)

(Turns out it was Dean of course.)

(Then to get revenge I put the horse head at the end of Deans bed and at 3:AM everyone just heard this high pitch scream and then a lot of creative swearing, then a gun going off.)

(Now the horse mask has bullet holes in it.)

(Now that I think about it a lot of the things we own have bullet holes in them.)

Rule 110

Don't ask Dean to tell you a bed time story.

"I got laid, the end."

"I said a story not a joke."

(*Drops mic*)

Thank you so much for reading :). If you have any suggestions for rules please leave them in a review or PM me. Sorry for the wait, I will try and update more frequently from now on.

Thank you so much to all those who reviewed! :D


	12. Chapter 12

Rule 110

The following horror games are banned:

Outlast

Five nights at Freddy's

Slender

Can Your Pet

(Pretty sure Dean was almost crying when he finished playing 'Can Your Pet')

(He got attached to the chicken and named it Bobby.)

(So you can imagine his reaction when Bobby was killed and canned after Dean had washed him, fed him and played with him.)

(All I heard when it happened was "Bobby, no! You were my pet chicken , not my chicken soufflé.")

(Sam and I almost shit ourselves when we played Five Nights At Freddy's)

(We were definitely not ready for that jumpscare.)

(Sam was so scared he fell off his chair when that fucking bird jumped out.)

(Then when Cas played Outlast, at the first jumpscare he just teleported straight out of the room.)

Rule 112

Don't "borrow" someone's baby to make you look more "believable".

(Dean and Cas once did this to make these cops believe they were a family.)

(It worked until Dean said the name was "Jack Daniels.")

(Cas was all like "This is my husband and our completely legal child that we own.")

(Then me walking in and going "Where the hell did you guys get a baby?")

Rule 113

If you get pulled over by the police for speeding and they say "Do you know how fast you were going?" Don't reply with "Yeah and I would of being going faster if you hadn't pulled me over."

(I'm looking at you Dean)

Rule 114

Don't curl Sam's hair while he is asleep.

(It looks ridiculous.)

(Every time Dean and I saw him we couldn't stop laughing.)

(It literally looked like someone made a wig out of sheep's hair and stuck it on his head.)

Rule 115

When someone asks for you opinion on a problem don't say "I suggest murder."

(The police don't take well to it.)

"How do you want to do this, Agents?"

"I suggest murder."

"We can't murder this priest, Ellie."

Rule 116

Whenever Sam, Dean or Cas are in a shitty mood and someone asks what's wrong, don't answer for them and say "erectile dysfunction."

Rule 117

Fart Bombs are banned.

(I ordered a bunch online and when I was bringing them in I dropped the box and they all went off.)

(Sam walked in and passed out.)

Rule 118

Wii Sports are banned.

(We've gone through about 7 TVs because of this game.)

(Dean and Sam get competitive when they play Tennis.)

(One time Dean and Sam set it up in this motel and when they were playing bowling Dean rotated his arm one to many times and let go of the remote at the wrong time and it smashed through the window and knocked an old guy out.)

Rule 119

Mario Cart is also banned.

(When Dean and Cas play it and you listen from outside the room it sounds like they are getting it on.)

"I swear to god this feels like it's your first time doing this."

"This is my first time doing it, Dean."

"Go faster or I'm going to finish way ahead of you."

"You're going too fast, I can't keep up."

Rule 120

Don't try and make the bunker prettier by putting up lots of fairy lights.

(I left them on for over two days and started a fire.)

Rule 121

No more playing in kids playgrounds.

(To put it simply, you're to fucking big.)

(Dean when down a slide head first and got stuck.)

(I tried to fit in one of those swings meant for small kids and my legs got stuck in the holes.)

(Sam had to call the fire .)

"Can I keep the swing as memorabilia?"

"No."

Rule 122

Touching ceiling fans is stupid.

(Enough said.)

Rule 123

When shopping for groceries don't ask staff if they sell human flesh.

(When they say no I ask them to check in the back.)

(I'm not allowed back to that shop now.)

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO THOSE WHO HAD REVIEWED SO FAR

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A Fangirls Life

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Broken Twisted Lullabies

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I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH, THANK YOU:D

If you have any suggestions for rules or characters you would like to be included please leave a review or PM me:)


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 is here! This chapter was suggested by Alix Winchester, so thank you very much :D. As you might notice I have changed "Teddy's" name to Ellie because I decided I didn't really think the name fit. So it is Ellie now, I hope you don't mind.

 **Rule 110.**

The following horror games are banned:

Outlast

Five nights at Freddy's

Slender

Can Your Pet.

 **Five Nights at Freddy's.**

 _"Family pizzeria looking for security guard to work the night shift. 12 Am to 6 AM."_  
"What sucky work hours. No thanks."

 _"Monitor cameras, ensure safety of equipment and animatronic characters."_

"Animatronic characters? At 12 AM in the morning? Fuck that."

 _"Not responsible for injury/dismemberment."_

"What the fuck kind of job is this?"

"Dean, we literally hunt monsters for a living and you're calling this a bad job?"  
"It's Animatronic characters that obviously try and kill you, that's a pretty piss poor job to me."

 _"120 dollars a week!"_

"You mean to say you only get 120 dollars a week for looking after Satan's toys?"

Ellie giddily pressed the start button, leg shaking up in down in a mix of excitement and nervousness. Dean and Sam of course didn't share her enthusiasm. Sam frowned and took a sip from his beer, a poor attempt to try and mask the slight fear that slipped across his face when he first glanced at the "animatronic killers". Not exactly how he wanted to spend his Sunday night, squashed next to Dean and Ellie at a computer desk in a dark room.

"Does the room have to be this dark? I can't even see my own damn hand." Dean voiced, frowning at the screen as a voice started to explain the mechanics of the game.

"Of course, we have to immerse ourselves." Ellie replied, ceasing her leg jigging when a sharp kick was aimed at her ankle. No doubt from Dean.

"Okay, what have we got?" Ellie muttered as an office appeared with two doors on either side of the room.

"A security camera."

"You can see those over sized teddy bears."  
"God there creepy."

"Look at the bird one. Looks like it's on drugs."

"Pretty sure the owners are on drugs for letting animatronics wander around at night all Willy Nilly."

"Wait, shut up for a second. What did the guy just say?"

"I think he said that they're left in some kind free roam throughout the night."  
"What person would ever think that's a good idea? Who the fuck run's this business?"

 _"These characters, if they happen to see you after hours, probably won't recognize you as a person. They'll most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now since that's against the rules here at Freddy's Fazbear Pizza, they'll probably try to forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy's Fazbears suit."_  
"What the actual fuck."  
"How is this place even legally open?"

"Oh, he says we've got to conserve power."

"Well, we've already failed at that."  
"Yeah, we're fucked."

"Fucked by Teddy Bears."

"Ew, Ellie no."

"Aw come on! Shoving people into a Fazbear suit is basically robot sexy time."

"Omg, one of them is gone."

"Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck."

"Hurry up and find it!"  
"Why are these cameras so fucking fuzzy? Can't they afford better than this?"

"Fuck, we're so fucked."  
"Ellie, shut up. What's that sound?"

"It's the sound of me saying fuck."

"Is that the bird? I hope it isn't the bird, it will feed us to its animatronic bird babies."

"That son of bitch is right near the door!"  
"Close the door, Ellie."  
"Not that one, the left door!"

"I'm under pressure, okay! Killer bird outside the door, give me a break."  
"Holy fuck, 10 percent and it's 4 Am."

"It's the bird again, go away."

"I'm never going to be able to look at my rabbit in the same way ever again."

"Look at its bib, "let's eat", that's not creepy."

"It has killer teeth and you're looking at its bib."

"The bear is gone."

"Why isn't this camera working? Audio only? Whoever is in charge of the technical stuff around here needs to be fired."

Ellie lent back slightly from the screen, heart pounding and palms sweaty as the battery power got lower and the freaky bird that was lurking near the door didn't leave.

Dean was frantically clicking on all the camera controls, desperately trying to find the bear and Sam was watching with wide eyes, his hand clasped tightly around his drink.

Then the camera controls disappeared and the bird appeared, screeching loudly. Dean jerked back, a high pitched scream escaping his mouth as he brought his legs up from the floor to tuck to his chest. Sam screeched as well, outright flailing as the bird appeared, his drink flew from his hand and smashed somewhere behind him. Ellie screamed and pushed the monitor away from her face and used her feet to push her wheeled chair away from the desk and out the door.

"Never again." Dean whispered, still hugging his knees tightly.

"Agreed." Sam nodded, pictures of the bird screaming flashing through his mind. He shuddered and got up to go find Ellie.

He found her hiding in the kitchen eating the rest of the donuts.

'Stress eating.' She garbled through a mouthful of donut.

Can Your Pet

"This looks like the stupidest game I have ever seen."

"Come on, Dean. Give it a try." Ellie goaded, trying and failing to hide her giddy grin as Dean typed 'Bobby' into the name box.

"Now what?"  
"You have to dress it."  
Ellie snickered as Dean only chose the cap for his chicken to wear.

"Now you have to feed it."

"Yeah, I got it." Dean sighed, dragging the food bag over to the chicken.

"How many times do I have to feed this damn bird?

"Until the bar is full."

"Shower time little buddy. Hey, don't run away you little shit."

Ellie clasped her hands tightly and waited patiently for the awaiting demise of the chicken. A cheeky grin stretching across her face as she watched Dean laugh as he played with Bobby and the soccer ball.

"Hey what's this one? A bike, do we exercise or something?" Dean asked as he went to click on it.

"Something like that." Ellie snickered.

Dean's eye widened in shock as the 'bike' turned upside down and chainsaws roared, cutting up his precious Bobby as he was dropped in.

"No, Bobby!"

The can rolled through, a picture of Bobby the chicken on it with his name engraved underneath it.

"What kind of sick game is this?" He cried.

"Why would they do that?"

"Why would they kill Bobby?"

Slender

"What is the point of this game?" Castiel asked, eyeing the computer monitor warily.

"You have to collect all eight pages in this forest and avoid Slenderman." Ellie explained.

"What is that crunching noise?"

"That is the character walking."

"I don't believe I've ever heard someone make that sound before when they are walking."

"That's because it's a video game, Cas."

"Where is this 'slender man' you were talking about?"

"Slenderman, isn't here right now. You don't want him to find you, that's the point of the game."

"This forest is ugly. Why does Slenderman live here?"

"How the fuck would I know? Besides, I think the more pressing question is why the fuck this person is in this creepy ass forest at night, alone."

"I found a page."  
"Always watches, no eyes."

"Holy shit, what the fuck is that music."

"Why is it booming at me?"  
"It's just the music, Cas."  
"Is that the 'slender man'?" Cas asked, peering curiously at the figure in the distance as he made his character turn around.

"Yes! Turn away."  
"But I want to see what he looks like."  
"Cas, don't turn around! Stop looking!'

"But I want to see."

"Stop it, stop it!" Ellie shrieked.  
Cas jerked back at the sound of static and the white face of Slenderman appeared abruptly.

"I told you to not turn around." Ellie snapped, heart pounding.

There was no answer.

Ellie glanced to her left to see an empty chair and no sign of the angel.

"Coward." She muttered, exiting the game.

 **Thank you so much to all who have reviewed:**

 **Ash (Guest)** ** _Thank you for the suggestion! It will definitely be going in the next chapter:)_**

 **Guest**

 **Imlikeoky**

 **StyxxsOmega** ** _Thank you so much for the suggestion, I can totally imagine things going wrong for the Winchesters and Ellie with a too friendly dog around! You'll most defiantly see this rule in the nest chapter:D_**

 **Lemonofweirdness** ** _Thank you for the suggestion! It made me laugh just thinking about, you'll defiantly see it in the next chapter!_**

 ** _NightReader22_**

 ** _Alix Winchester_**

 ** _Please leave a review if you enjoyed, thank you so much for reading. I love you all:D_**

 ** _If you have any ideas for rules, please leave them in a review or PM. I love hearing all your ideas!_**


	14. Chapter 14

**Rule 124**

Bars are banned. ( specialsmiley1315)

(Dean recently taught me how to play pool.)

(I thought I had gotten pretty good at it so I decided to play against a couple of these guys in the bar.)

(Playing fairly isn't really my style so I decided to hustle.)  
(Because I wanted to win money easy dammit.)

(What I didn't realize is that I would have to give up my pride for a game and act liked I totally sucked, which I could do with no problem. But I can't stand people insulting me.)  
(So when one of the players told me "My grandmother could play better than this and she's dead" I got mad and said in retaliation "That's because I let her win so many times when I finally took back a game and won all my money back she was so played, that her body was just a bag of bones on the floor."

(Which gave away my true intentions.)

(I also almost got my arse kicked for insulting his grandma.)

(Pretty sure Dean almost let him.)

(There was also this one time I got so drunk I stumbled up on to the counter of the bar and started singing karaoke.)  
(They didn't even have karaoke in that bar.)

 **Rule 125**

Strip clubs are banned.

(Dean, being the great mentor and friend he is, decided to take me to a strip club.)

(We got extremely drunk.)  
(I threw up on one of the strippers.)

(Then to apologize I gave her a beer cap.)

(Not a good night for me.)

 **Rule 126**

Memes are banned.

(I'm sick of seeing Pepe's face everywhere.)

(Someone even switched the labels on jars and bottles to pictures of Pepe.)

(Although I admit it was me who stuck the "Just do it" sign on the bathroom door.)  
(And on the toilet lid.)

(Whenever I think someone's lying I say "Sure Jan.")

"You being having any more "visions", Sam?"

"No."

"Sure, Jan."

(Cas has also started to do it.)

(Not in the way I expected though.)

"Can I see your badges?"

"Sure, Jan."

 **Rule 126**

'Despicable Me' is banned.

(I swear to god if I see one more minion I will burn it.)

(Dean also gave me a toy gun and told me it was just a nerf gun.)

(But later that day I got the surprise of my life when I went to test it out and instead of foam bullets shooting out, Satan's odor shot out.)  
(Jokes on Dean though because now I have a fart gun.)

 **Rule 127**

Comic Con is banned.

(I'm not allowed back there anymore because I got into a fight with a guy who said my costume was "as bad as the show itself".)

(DOCTOR WHO IS THE BEST AND I WILL FIGHT YOU IF YOU SAY OTHERWISE.)

(Pretty sure someone recorded it too, I wouldn't be surprised if the video was on YouTube titled 'Thor Vs Dalek'.)

(Got a nasty bruise from his hammer too)

Rule 128

Sims is banned. (Imlikeoky)

(Sam, Dean and Cas all got extremely obsessed with the game)  
(To the point where they all started screaming bloody murder at each other when they all wanted to play at the same time.)

(Sam was hunched over his laptop like a protective (and bloody thirsty) mother hen)

 **Rule 129**

Don't narrate hunts or day to day life like a crack video. (lemonofweirdness)

(*Walking somewhere*)

"Walk, walk, fashion baby, work it, move that bitch crazy, I'm a free bitch, baby.")

(*Hunting monsters*)

"Baby I'm preying on you tonight, hunt you down, eat you alive. Just like animals, like animals."

"Motherfucker I'm awesome." (Me.)

"No you're not, don't lie." (Dean)

"When I walk on by girls be looking like damn he fly."

(When I walked into the kitchen and sang this Sam threw a book at me.)

(Dean was ready to murder me when we were running away from vampires and I started yelling "LETS GET PHYSICAL, PHYSICAL.")

(I also started narrating Dean and Cas when they look into each other's eyes for excessive amounts of time.)

"When he looks at me."

"And I look at him."

"And he looks at me."

"And I look at him."

"And he looks at me."

"And I look at-"

"Ellie, shut the fuck up!"

"Quit playing games with my heart!"  
"I Swear to God."

"Rude." (Cas)

(*Cas kills an angel*)

"Shine bright like a diamond."

(*Sam brushes his teeth*)

"Shiny teeth that twinkle, just like the stars in space!"  
"Shiny teeth so awesome just like your favourite song!"  
(*Dean brings back pie*)

"I got my eyes on you, you're everything that I want."

"Fuck off, its mine."

"What is love? Baby don't hurt me!"

 **Rule 130 (StyxxsOmega)**

No more bringing friendly dogs when we go hunting.  
(For one it's friendly and doesn't do shit to help us against the monsters.)  
(We were hiding, ready to ambush some Vamps when fucking SpongeBob the dog runs out, tail wagging and completely gives our position away.)

 **Rule 131 (Ash)**

Wreaths of any kind are banned.

(I ordered this pretty white wreath online to put on the door to the bunker.)

(What I didn't know was that this wreath was made out of Meadow Sweet and it attracted a bunch of bloody thirsty pagan gods looking for a meal.)

(Pretty sure Sam was pissed off enough to offer me as a sacrifice.)

 **Rule 132**

Stop being too honest.

(I have a problem of telling people what I think of them, no matter how offensive it might be.)

"Sir, do you have any illnesses to do with your mouth?"

"No."

"Then why does your breath smell so bad, brush your teeth."

(The cashier I said this too refused to serve me.)

"Why does your hair look like Edward Scissorhands did it for you?"

"That is the worst fucking drawing I have ever seen."

* * *

Thank you so much for reviewing!

Falloutgirl008

Imlikeoky

StyxxsOmega

Specialsmiley1315

I hope you enjoyed reading! Thanks again to all those who reviewed, it means so much to me. And thank you for all those people who shared their ideas with me! You guys are amazing! If you have any suggestions for rules leave them in a review or PM me. I'll update as soon as I can.


	15. Chapter 15

_I am back! I am extremely sorry for leaving this story and not updating, but I will try to continue to upload chapters more frequently. I hope you enjoy and special thanks to 'Emma Winchester 424' for the lovely and very nice message which inspired me to get going again!_

 **Rule 133**

'Community' is banned.

"Dean I think you should play the role of my father."

"I don't want to be your father."

"That's perfect. You already know your lines!"

(Dean and I even took up the 'Troy and Abed in the Morning" jingle, expect now it's "Dean and Ellie in the Morning!")

(Sam hates it)

I even took to quoting it to annoy Sam:

"As a lawyer."

"Stanford dropout."

"I hereby offer my licensed services."

"Unlicensed."

"As your attorney and defendant."

"I think you mean 'guy who has minimal law training but I'll try my best.'"

"If anyone needs to get out of sticky situation with the law, the lawyer is in."

"Not even close."

"Shut the hell up, Ellie."

(Dean sneezes)  
"Ha, Dean Sneezes like a girl!"  
"HOW BOUT I POUND YOU LIKE A BOY!"  
"That didn't come out right."

(Supernatural: E Pluribus Anus)

"I'm fine with all religions that aren't with God." (Castiel)

"Um, when you found out I was Jewish, you invited me to a 'pool party' that turned out to be a Baptism." (Me)

"Well excuse me for trying to sneak you into heaven."

(I dressed up as batman for Halloween)

"Can I ask you something I've always wanted to ask the real Batman?" (Dean)

"Yup."

"Am I good-looking?"  
"You're hot as hell, Dean."

"I knew it."

 **Rule 134**

The Transformers 'MTMTE' comic is banned.

"If Rodimus Prime can have a shuttle that looks like his face, than so can I!"  
"The ImpALA IS ENOUGH, DEAN!"

"Um, if Megatron can join the Autobots, than Satan can hang with us." (Me)

'nO!"

(FLIPS TABLE)  
"Ellie, why the fuck would you do that?"  
"PROWL!"

"Ellie? You want me to put my life into the hands of a woman who somersaults into the bunker? A woman who pretends to be dead if you ask her a difficult question?" (Sam)

 **Rule 135**

Jurassic Park is banned.

"WHY WOULD YOU ASK CAS TO CREATE REAL DINOSAURS? THERES A T-REX IN THE LIBRARY!"  
"IT WAS A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME!"

 **Rule 136**

Attempting gymnastic is banned.

(Sam is surprisingly flexible and is pretty good at beam.)

(Dean and I just suck at all things gymnastics.)  
(Dean spilt his jeans just trying to do the splits.)

(I attempted a backflip and ended up in the hospital.)

 **Rule 137**

No more pretending to be a doctor.

"Man, my throat is kinda sore."  
"Well, sir, I do believe you have about 36 kinds of cancer."

 **Rule 138**

No more giving new names to people.

"Oh Americas new president, don't you mean Dinkleberg Turnip?"  
'No, I mean Doofus Turd."

"Ah, but we know his actual name is Damnable Turkey."

(I also did it to Dean.)  
"Hi, Derpy Wings."

"Dogshit Wingpester."

"Beans WoolyFester."

"Denny Loseburger."

 **Rule 139**

Don't get in the middle of Sam and Dean's prank wars.

(They will gang up on you.)

(Last time I got involved I woke up tied up on the roof of a supermarket.)

 **Rule 140**

No more putting Gatorade in a Windex bottle and drinking it in front of people.

(Sam fainted.)  
(Cas asked if he could try some.)  
(Cue motherhen Dean freaking the hell out.)

 **Rule 141**

Cars is banned.

"LIGHTNING MCQUEEN IS DEAD."  
*SCREAMING*

(Dean was very upset.)

 **Rule 142**

No more using internet slang in front of Dean.

"Dean, you bae."  
"What does that mean, child."

T _hank you so much for reading! Again I am so sorry for not posting, but I will hopefully get on top of that._

 _Thanks to all who reviewed_

 ** _Alix Winchester_**

 ** _Falloutgirl008_**

 ** _styxxsOmega_**

 ** _Imlikeoky_**

 ** _Specialsmiley1315_**

 ** _Ash_**

 ** _Guest_**

 _You guys are the best! Feel free to add suggestions, and if there are suggestions you have already given but I haven't used them yet just remind me!_


	16. Chapter 16

**Rule 143**

 _Friends is banned_

"If either of you had a child I want you to name it after me. So if its girl Ellie, and if it's a boy, Elmo."

"Sam, we have to get off this plane." (Dean)  
"Get over your fear, Dean. It's getting ridiculous."  
"No, I'm serious. Something is wrong with the left phalange."

(My new fake cover name is 'Regina Phalange.)

(I even made Rachel's disgusting beef trifle to give to Dean as a prank, but he ended up liking it!)

(Now every time I help the guys lift something I yell "PIVOT, PIVOT, PIVOT.)  
(They don't let me lift things anymore)

"You hang up on the pizza place? I don't hang up on your friends." (Dean)

(Dean recently had to go to the hospital after a particularly nasty stab wound.)  
(I had to fill out the form)  
"Occupation… Ghosts."

"Trust me, Ellie, I know how to barter." (Dean.)  
"How much for the amulet?"  
"8,600 dollars."  
"We will give you ten dollars."  
(That's one ghostly item that won't be getting uncursed.)

"Hey, I can cook!" (Dean)  
"Offering people gum is not cooking." (Sam)

"You have really great hair, Dean."  
"Thanks. I grow it myself."

 **Rule 144**

 _It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is banned_

"What's your favourite hobby?" (Dean)  
"Uh, Magnets." (Me.)  
"Okay, what? Making magnets? Collecting Magnets? Playing with magnets?"

"Just Magnets."  
"Alright, what's your favourite food?"  
"Steakmilk."  
"…What."  
"Steakmilk. Come on! You know what it is."  
"No, I don't!"

"Excuse me mam what is your spaghetti policy here?"  
"Ellie!"

"Why aren't the brakes working? Whats wrong with my baby!"  
"Because I cut the brakes! Wild card, bitches! Yeehaw!"  
(Dean chased me for ten blocks.)

"Jeez, you light one wendigo on fire in public, and everyone freaks out!" (Dean.)

"That's it I'm sick of you and your brotherly fights, I'm outta here."  
"Ellie, you're not actually leaving."  
"Yup."  
(Ten minutes later)  
"HOW DO HOBOS FIT ALL THEIR STUFF IN BANDANAS."

 **Rule 145**

 _Video Games are banned._

(I got way too into The Last of Us)  
(And Uncharted)  
(And Dishonoured)  
(To the point where I played for days nonstop.)  
(When I finally came out for a break, I looked out the window and my first words in a week were "Wow, that's some good graphics. Those trees look real."  
(I also broke a couple of bones trying to be parkour like Nate.)  
(Cliffs aren't meant to be climbed by clumsy people.)

 **Rule 146**

 _Don't do the thing._

"Ellie, don't do the thing."  
"I did the thing and my pants fell down and now this mafia gang wants to kill me."

 _Based on this Tumblr post ._

 **Rule 147**

 _Hamilton is banned._

"You can't expose me if I expose myself first!" (Dean)

"I can rap about history!" (Me)

"NO." (Everyone else)

*Inhale deep breathe*  
"HOW DOES A-"  
"ELLIE!"

"I'm not going to fight them. EXCEPT THAT I AM."

"You and Alexander Hamilton actually have a lot in common, Ellie."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah, because you to will be murdered for not knowing how to shut the fuck up."

 **Rule 148**

 _Cards against humanity is banned_

In the beginning, demons were left alone, unsummoned, and no one was killed. But then God said let there be: White people.

eg Sam and Dean

 **Rule 149**

 _The words 'fight me' are banned._

"Fight me, Dean."

"Fight me, Sam."

"Fight me, Lucifer."

"Fight me, Deputy James."

"You keep saying that and someone is going to deck you."

"That'll be 5.50."  
"FIGHT ME."

Rule 150

Stop changing song lyrics.

"You got mud on your face, ya big mud face, smearing that all over your other muds."

"I want your back, na na na, I want your back, na na na, Give me your spine."

"Oh the weather outside is weather."

 **Rule 151**

 _Stop reciting Shakespeare._

"Exit, pursued by bear." (Sam)

(Dean: is stabbing a demon) "What, you egg!"

"I say, I will make him eat some part of my leek." (Cas)

 **Rule 152**

 _Stop writing down everything everyone does._

"Dean, he sits in the chair."  
"He opens the beer."  
"He drinks the beer."  
"He glares."  
"He reaches for his jacket."  
"A gun is pulled out."  
"He rises from his seat."  
"He is approaching the author."  
"Author is scared."  
"Author is running."

 _Thank you to all that reviewed, I hope you enjoy!_


	17. Chapter 17

**Rule 153**

 _Stop pretending you have a twin._

(I wanted to make some extra money)  
(Money that wasn't from stolen credit cards)  
(So I got a job at this local supermarket)  
(Except the stupid manager wouldn't give me it full time)  
(So I came back, fake ID in tow, and claimed that I was Ellie's twin)  
(HE BOUGHT IT)  
(And boom, another part-time job, which with my other self-equalled a full-time job.)  
(Genius.)

 **Rule 154**

 _Plants are banned._

(Dean recently started acquiring house plants for god knows what reason.)  
(But he sucked ass at taking care of them and they died within the week)  
(So I downsized him to a cactus)  
(Cause you can't possibly kill a cactus)  
(A couple of months go by, and I ask about it)  
"Son of a bitch!"  
(He forgot about the cactus! It was all shrivelled up and dead when he found it under his bed.)

(HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO KILL A CACTUS)

 **Rule 155**

 _Inception is banned_

"Ellie, would ya' stop spinning that damn top? It's driving me insane." (Dean)  
"No way, I could be dreaming and your just an illusion."  
"FOR GODS SAKE."

"Can we stop for McDonalds?" (Dean)  
"Uh, No." (Sam)  
"You won't be saying that when I sneak into your dreams and plant a McDonalds idea into your head."

 **Rule 156**

 _Scrubs is banned_

"Dean, why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?" (Sam)  
"I think you mean why is there silverware in the pancake drawer."

"I call all the males Elvis and all the females Ellie." (Dean)  
"My name already is Ellie." (Me, slightly weirded out by this first greeting.)  
"Then, out of fairness to the others, you will be Slagathor."

"Ellie, you will not ruin my Christmas again, not this year." (Dean)  
"But, I've only been with you guys three months."

"Ellie, we found you in the park, throwing rocks at old couples." (Sam.)  
"Why should they be happy?"

"EAAGGGLEEE"  
(Sam didn't appreciate Dean running round with me on his back)

"Why are we laying in the parking lot?" (Sam)  
"That vampire knocked you unconscious, so I laid down next to you so everyone would think we were chillin'"  
"Dean, it's twelve AM, no one's here."

 **Rule 157**

 _Stop being a drama queen._

"Can we stop for pie?"

"No." (Sam)  
*Sniff* "I hate this fucking family."

"I fucked up my elbow pretty bad."  
"Ellie, it's a small graze."

"ELLIE, FOR GODS SAKE STOP SLAMMING DOORS."

*Sniff* I can't believe they ran out of chocolate cupcakes. My whole life was relying on those cupcakes.'

 **Rule 158**

Shutting the hell up is an option.

"Ellie, we don't care about your bee sting, shut up."  
"BUY MY SILENCE, PERMENTALNLY, 8000 DOLLARS A MONTH, I WILL STOP."  
"I'll pay."  
"Screw you, Dean."

 **Rule 159**

 _Stop trying to motivate people._

"It's called a trash can, not a trash can't." (Me)

"Why carpe diem when you can carpe natem, 'seize the ass'." (Dean)

" How bout I carpe collum, 'seize the neck'" (Sam)

 **Rule 160**

 _Stop trying to do good deeds_

(Tried mowing the lawn for an old man.)  
(Instead of been thankful he pulled out a shotgun and chased me off his yard.)  
(He's fast for an old dude)

(Tried to help an old lady carry her groceries to her car.)  
(But she thought I was stealing so she hit me with her umbrella and called the police.)  
(Sam said I should ask people if they need help instead of just grabbing their bags and smiling.)

(Was getting some booze, and I was about to go into that huge freezer area when I noticed someone about to exit.)  
(So I decided to try and be helpful *not realizing that door was a pull not push* and pushed as he pulled, so instead of been helpful, I stood holding the door, and stopping it from been opened.)  
(I also thought I had a friendly smile)  
(But it came out creepy and it seemed like I was trying to trap him in their while smiling creepily.)

 **Rule 161**

S _top trying to spread joy._

(Immediately stopped doing this after I smiled at a woman in the car and she flipped me the bird.)

 **Rule 162**

 _Stop losing your temper so quickly._

(Recently had to ask some kids some questions about a case.)  
"Lady, why do you hang out with old men?"  
"I am not old you little turd!"  
"Dean! Don't fight with the children."

 **Rule 162**

 _Kazoos are banned._

"DOOOOOOOOOOT."  
(Dean ran over mine after I rickrolled him on my Kazoo.)

 _ **Thank you for reviewing:  
Niamh x - Thanks for all the lovely reviews, I'm so glad you're enjoying!**_

 _ **Emma Winchester 424 - Thanks so much! I'm so glad I improved your Monday, hearing that just improves my day! I recently got obsessed with Hamilton and had to put it in.**_

 _ **Would anyone be interested in having another chapter devoted to a rule been wrote out more thoroughly? If so, please suggest away:)**_


	18. Chapter 18

**Rule 163**

 _3_ _rd_ _Rock from the Sun is banned._

(Whenever Castiel does something dopey it always reminds me of the aliens from 3rd rock from the sun)

(Eg, first time he met a woman)  
"Well, I don't know what came over me, but.. they were so big and round and beautiful. I had to touch them."  
"And then what?"  
"She screamed 'Ow my eyes!' and that just ruined the moment."

(Or when he went looking for a job)|  
*While scouring the newspaper* "Here's a job I can do Dean, 'Police seek third gunman.' Sounds like a job I can do."  
"Uh, Cas-"  
"In fact I'm going down there right now to tell them that I am in fact the man they have been looking for!"

"I want my gift to mankind to be electricity."  
"Cas, we already have that."  
"Well, my work here is done then."

 **Rule 164**

 _The Simpsons is banned_

(Trying to explain computer games to Cas)  
"To start, press any key."  
"Where's the 'any' key?"

(Cas picked up some bad punishment habits form that tv show)

"Dean, since you chipped Ellie's tooth, she gets to break yours."  
"Oh this is gonna' be sweet!"

"Ellie, since you cut Sams hair off as a joke, he gets to tear all of your singular hairs out."  
 _"911, what is your emergency?"_

"What does 'gay' mean, Ellie?" (Cas)  
"It means giving up power for someone."  
"Oh."

"Hey, Dean! I became gay for you!"

"One snow angel coming up" (Sam)  
*Satan's outline in the snow*  
"Why does this always happen?"

 **Rule 165**

Futerama _is banned_

"I'm going to jump!" (Me)  
"Do a flip!" (Dean)

"You know, I was god once." (Cas)  
"Yeah, we saw. You were doing well until everyone died."

"I say that all the monsters must know of our peaceful ways…by force!" (Dean)

"Dean, it's not necessary or wise to be naked." (Sam)

"You sound like all my old teachers."

(Dean trying to teach Cas how to flirt)  
"Start with a compliment, tell her she looks thin."

"You seem malnourished."

(Dean, while trying to climb up the side of someone's house)  
"Hey, you two! Get a room!"  
"We're in a room!"  
"Well then lose some weight!"

 **Rule 166**

 _Dean sucks at anything emotional._

"Ellie, to show my thanks for your quick making of stabbing that dude before he could gouge my eyes out, I got you this gift."  
"That's a Dorito."

 **Rule 167**

 _Don't put Sam's hair in_ piggytails _and braids while he sleeps._

(He will not appreciate it.)  
(He will also not appreciate the Barbie doll you put next to his head.)

 **Rule 168**

 _Don't let Dean near technology._

( I was showing him my new laptop that can fold right back into a tablet.)  
(He was amazed, and when Sam walked in with his laptop)  
(The idiot grabbed it and folded it back)  
(Of course it snapped, along with Sam's sanity.)

 **Rule 169**

 _Stop designating yourself as 'tour guide' for the bunker._

"Welcome to the bunker! Die slowly and make yourself a grave."

"Here we have the dungeon."  
"The what."

'"This is the library, the books are filled with interesting facts about how to kill people. It Sam's favourite hobby."  
"Reading or murdering?"  
"Uh, it's up to you.."

"This is where we hide the bodies."  
"Ellie, get out of my room." (Sam)  
"Ladies, don't date him or you may end up in here too."

 **Rule 170**

 _Stop hanging custom made signs in the bunker._

"Warning! Sam's might bite, kick and fart."

"Caution- possessed angel."

"Don't put your hands in the cow."

"Room reserved for losers" (Dean got mad at me for hanging that up outside his room)

 **Rule 172**

 _Stop calling Sam 'Jesus'_

"I don't understand why we have to rely on an angel when we have Jesus right here."  
"For the love of god, Ellie, just because my hair is brown and long doesn't make me Jesus."  
"We know you love god, Jesus."

(While Sam is in the room)  
"I pray to thy holier Jesus to bring me a bagel."  
(Expectant look at Sam)

*Sam spills something*  
"Jesus Christ, were you born in a barn?"

"Jesus-"  
"I'm not Jesus."  
"Sorry, my mistake. Uh, Moose God, pass me the salt."  
"I hate you."  
"This is exactly why Judas betrayed you."

 **Rule 173**

 _Stop making up stupid insults._

"Dean, you're such an ant bomb."

"Sam your hair looks like greasy peanuts."

"Cas get some curve on that ass before you pass off that deflated pin prickle of a butt."

 **Rule 174**

 _Stop trying to sell each other's belongings._

"You like this hairbrush? Jesus himself has brushed his luscious locks with this!"  
"Ellie! Get away from the priest!"

"Quality trench coat, this blue tie also comes with it at an extra twenty bucks." (Dean)

(The last straw was when I sold Deans Impala to some old, rich car collector.)

(They guy had repainted it a horrid orange colour with red flames.)  
(I had to find somewhere else to live for a month.)  
(Dean had to get therapy.)

 **Rule 175**

 _Spongebob is banned_

"I'll see you all in therapy." (Dean after killing Hitler)

"Fuck off, Ellie, you're making me claustrophobic." (Sam)  
"What?" (Cas)  
"It means he's afraid of Santa Clause."  
"No, it doesn't." (Sam)  
"HO, HO, HO." (Me)  
"Stop it, Ellie, you're scaring him!"

"Ellie, you're a genius." (Dean)  
"Thanks, I get called that a lot."  
"A genius?"  
"No, 'Ellie'."

 **Rule 176**

 _Stop forcing blame on those who don't deserve it._

"If anything goes wrong, we are blaming Ellie." (Dean)  
"What the fuck? Why?"  
"I hate you the most."

 **Rule 177**

 _Stop setting Cas up._

"Cas, ask Dean if he wants to Netflix and Chill."  
"Dean-"  
"NO!"  
"He's still in denial."

"Dean, Ellie told me to tell you that I have a rock hard er-"  
"NAH NAH NAH NOT LISTENING."

(And then one week later they fucked.)

 **Rule 178**

 _Stop with the Dungeons and Dragons memes_

"I broke into Mrs Mayers house and set her birds free." (Dean)  
"Why?"  
"Cause they're stuck in that tiny cage and there squaking is so annoying."  
"Chaotic good."

"I stole all the bees."  
"Lawful neutral."

"Helped an old lady cross the street."  
"Neutral good."

 **Rule 179**

 _Goats are banned_

(Two words: Ate EVERYTHING)

(I named it Gary)

(It ate Dean's memory foam)

"I think the only thing that'll it be remembering is the journey out."

 **Rule 180**

 _Fans are banned_

(Dean stuck his tongue in it and we had to go to the hospital.)  
(And then the next day I stuck my tongue in it so Sam just threw it out before we influenced Cas too much.)

 **Rule 181**

 _Poles in the winter are banned._

(Dean is a sucker for getting his tongue stuck on them)

(So he asked me to comg along to the park to make sure he didn't lick anything frozen.)  
(Except I let him, and he got stuck, and I took pictures, laughed, then left.)

 **Thank you so much for reviewing:**

 **Emma Winchester 424**

 **falloutgirl008**

 **Greatly appreciated!**

 **Suggestions are welcomed, and if anyone wants an extended write out of a rule, suggest away!**  
 **Thanks for reading:)**


	19. Chapter 19

**Rule 182**

 _Stop trying to sneak up on people to scare them._

"Ellie, I can hear you humming the Jaws theme." (Dean)

 **Rule 183**

 _Stop trying to get the 'gang' to be more like 'Scooby Doo.'_

"Alright, gang-"  
"Ellie, we are not a gang."  
"Yeah, we're the Mystery Inc Gang."

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE IMPALA?"

"It's better like this!"  
(You guessed it, I painted Dean's impala to match the Mystery Machine Van, words and all.)  
(Dean started hyperventilating.)

"If it weren't for you meddling kids." (Dean to me after I ate the rest of his pie.)

(Because I'm Shaggy and Sam is Velma, I shouldn't help with the research.)  
"Sam, what are these strange markings?"  
"Words."  
"Ah!"

"There's the vampire!"  
"Ruh-roh!"

"The demon got away."  
"Ah, jinkies." (Surprisingly, this was Sam.)

"It killed him!"  
"Well, fuck." (Dean)

"I mean, uh, zoinks?"

 **Rule 184**

 _Humans are friends, not enemies._

"Repeat after me, we kill ghosts, not humans."  
"… We kill ghosts, not humans." (Dean)  
"Yes!"  
"Except for the demons host body, we kill them."  
"No!"

 **Rule 185**

 _Stop playing the triangle to the song 'Can Can'_

(It's so fun)  
(Seriously once you get to that eleven-second mark you just go crazy.)  
(It's just a ting, ting, ting everywhere.)

(Drives Sam nuts)

 **Rule 186**

 _Shrek is banned_

(Enough is enough)

 **Rule 187**

 _Don't use Cas's wings to mop up spilled drinks._

"Dean, did you use Cas wings to mop up the beer you spilled?" (Sam)

"Three people saw you."  
"Cas smells like you guys now, alcoholism and daddy issues." (Me)

 **Rule 188**

 _Inflatables are banned._

(Dean kept getting inflatable Batmans)  
(He'd put one right outside his bedroom door.)  
(He got mad at me for letting air out of the crotch area, making It all saggy and deflated, and like he was lacking certain parts.)  
(Looked weird as hell)

(Sam tossed out all inflatable pools after we came back to Cas and Dean sitting naked in this tiny ass, toddler sized inflatable pool.)

 **Rule 189**

 _Mannequins are banned._

(They creep Dean out)  
(And Sam kept getting mad at me for putting them in positions so it looked they were doing the do.)

(The last straw was the 69 one.)

 **Rule 190**

S _top saying 'store bought is fine'_

*During a demon summoning* "If you can't summon the flames directly from hell, store bought is fine." (Dean)

"If you can't get the newborn directly from a virgin, store bought is fine." (God)  
"If you can't get an angel of the lord directly from heaven, store bought is fine." (Dean)  
"If you can't get blood directly from a demon, store bought is fine." (Sam)

 **Rule 191**

 _Don't fall asleep in a graveyard._

(Dean you massive fucking douchebag.)  
('Wake me up', I say, 'don't leave me', I say.)  
(Arsehole)

 **Rule 192**

 _Stop attempting parkour._

(You can't do it, none of us can do it.)  
(We all wear jeans we can barely bend down)  
(Dean cracked a rib trying to make a jump between two buildings)  
(He made it, but the crack when his ribs collided with the wall, damn)  
(And then he continued to fall.)

 **Rule 193**

 _Don't taunt your attackers._

"What are you going to do, stab me?" (Dean)  
*Later, in the hospital* "Yes, it is a record for amount of stabbings on one body."

 **Rule 194**

 _Stop being awkward._

"That'll be ten dollars."  
*Hands ten dollar bill* "Yeah, keep the change." (Me)

"I'm extremely good at math, I can count very high, and I can do a little bit of long division. I think." (Dean)  
"Sir, I just need your credit card details."

"I'm great at sex." (Sam)  
"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to not speak to the old people in the nursing home like that."  
"Wow, Sam. You've had enough of killing all the people you dated, but now you gotta go for ones who are already dying?" (Dean)

 **Rule 195**

 _Stop with commentating during fights._

"That is going to leave a mark, it's a pity the Winchesters only have their fists, while the demons have, well, pretty much all the advantages."

"My name is Dean Wintoya! You stabbed my brother, prepare to die!"

"What a cheating, insolent little scum." (Me)  
"Yeah, that right, I'm talking about you, Dean." (Me)  
"Hey!"

*As Dean is jumping from a roof to land on a demon* "COLBY!"

"Ladies and Gentleman, lets getting ready to ruuuuummmble!"  
"ELLIE!"

 **Rule 196**

 _Stop acting like a rich, famous douchebag._

"Don't touch me, I'm famous." (Sam)  
"I think you mean famoose." (Dean)

"If you excuse me, I'll be taking my pony, with bedazzled reins, to my large mansion of the lakeside because I have that."  
"Ellie, that's a dog."

 **Rule 197**

 _Stop saying 'come at me'._

*As Deans predicted, the next person I said 'come at me' to, decked me straight in the face. No hesitation.*

 **Rule 198**

 _Flip phones are banned._

(Seriously, what is this, 2009?)  
(One time I was so shocked that Dean was actually speaking through one I grabbed it, snapped it in half, then threw it out the window.)  
(And don't get me started on Nokias)  
(The ringtone has Sam's eyes twitching)  
(But we can't destroy that one, it's too strong.)  
(Dean even tried to run it over with his Impala)  
(It didn't work)

 **Rule 199**

Bathbombs _are banned._

(After Dean put 300 of them in the bath at the same time with him in it, Sam officially outlawed them all.)

 **Rule 200**

 _Stop saying 'all' as an answer._

"How many chicken nuggets would you like?"  
"All?"

"Paper or plastic?"  
"All!"

"How much cheese would you like on you spaghetti?"  
"ALL!"

 **Rule 201**

 _Same goes for 'Just fuck me up.'_

"Would you like fries with that?" (Dean)  
"Just fuck me up."

"Here are your prescription drugs." (Me)

"Just fuck me up."

"What kind of haircut are you looking for?"  
"Just fuck me up." (Sam)

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Emma Winchester 424**

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